Is your teen manipulating you?
Yes…
and No.
How do I even know this you may ask?...
When I don’t even know your family?
I know this because all human beings are wired to try to get what they need.
They won’t unpack the dishwasher because they want to relax/believe they need rest.
Then they surprise you by do extra chores and “pretend” to be a wonderful human being and you start to think the lecture you gave them about sharing and taking responsibility worked….
Only to realise they only did those things because they wanted money from you and permission to go out with friends.
They are nice to you one minute….
And then they tell you that you are the worst “f*ing” mother in the world because you dared to say no.
You start to feel played.
Disappointed
Bewildered and concerned that you are raising a spoilt child with fierce manipulation skills.
And it makes you mad.
But what if I told you the things your teen is doing are actually signs they are a healthy well developing human being?
The fact your teen wants to have a good life and wants good things for themselves is a good thing.
Relaxation when you are tired is good.
Social contact with friends is good.
Having social time with friends reduces depression, improves physical health and makes you live longer.
It is not a problem that your teen is doing things to get what they want.
You want these good things for them too.
You don’t have a manipulation problem.
The problem you are facing is how to collaborate with your teen so you can work with to help them get what they need….
While also learning responsibility and doing their chores.
When we get this right there is no "F" bomb assaults at you for being a good parent.
The key to reducing the conflict and getting them to do the chores is working collaboratively with them to get what you want from them and give them what they want and need.
How to do this is one of the things I will be covering in my upcoming live and free Calm Connection workshop in November 2023.
There’s two session times to choose from and you can register on my website now www.kirstinbarchia.com.au/calmworkshop.
