The pressure of trying to keep everyone happy, polite, helpful and grateful at Christmas.

My family is a little obsessed with the weather.

Growing up in a family that surfed meant that anyone in my family would be able to tell you the wind and weather forecast on any given day of the week. 

Sunshine, light winds (from the right direction) and swell (of the right size) meant that my family were happy. 

But unfortunately no matter how good we all got at predicting the weather, we couldn't control it.

Nor can we expect to have sunshine and good conditions every day. 

We need all kinds of weather. Variations in weather are what causes our plant life to grow and thrive.

If it was sunny all of the time our plants would die. Plants need the rain to grow and they need the sunshine. They also need the winds to make them stronger. 

Weather and emotions are similar this way.

We actually need all of our emotions. And striving to be happy all the time is not only impossible but also unhelpful. 

I am guilty of wanting my kids to be happy all of the time. 

And I find it hard when they are sad, angry, jealous or anxious, particularly as the holidays start and we lead into Christmas.

This is "supposed" to be a time of letting go, relaxing, being grateful, giving and having fun. 

It is also "supposed" to be a time of year in Australia where the sun is shining. 

But like the weather here in Sydney in December which can be uncomfortable, quite often in families the lead up to Christmas and even Christmas day is anything but happy, joyful and relaxing. 

Part of the key to navigating emotional weather well is to accept the feelings as they come and go and not try to fight them too much.

When we get upset about being upset it causes a never ending downward spiral.

Where get get upset that we are sad....

this makes us feel more sad and upset...

and then anxious about feeling more upset...

and then upset about feeling anxious and the feelings keep growing.

But if we accept that we are sad and look after that feeling it actually settles sooner and feels okay. 

With our teens the same is true. When we get upset about them being upset then they feel pressure to feel better and withdraw or they get upset with us.

As parents during the holiday time we can feel like we are working so hard to make everyone happy and if they are not it creates resentment which is unhelpful for everyone. 

This Christmas I hope we have sunny weather both literal and also emotional, but if we don't I encourage you to accept the "weather" whatever it is and know that you can find some calm in the storm or intense heat.